The Noble Art Of Doing Nothing

Ben kept snoozing the alarm even though it was already 8:30 AM. The honk of the school bus outside? Ignored. The crying neighbor’s baby? Barely a whisper in his dreamland. Honestly, you could play the drums next to his bed and he wouldn’t flinch. He wants to stay in bed forever. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration—but that’s exactly how mornings feel to night owls.

Now, the burning question: why didn’t Ben sleep early? Was he studying? Hanging out with friends? Watching TV? Overthinking life? Sorry to disappoint—none of the above. Ben was doomscrolling. The most fashionable way to murder your time these days.

His friends complain that he never has time for them. His parents sigh that he doesn’t spend time with them. His girlfriend yells that he never takes her out. And Ben? Ben couldn’t care less.

At 11 AM, he finally wakes up, stretching like a king in his palace of pillows. A ray of hope flickers in his family’s heart: Finally, their sunshine has risen! Now they can spend time together. What a silly dream. Ben’s got other plans for the morning.

No, no—it’s not meditation, gym, running, or skill-building. It’s the most underrated morning ritual: doomscrolling, round two. After all, there’s always more content he “missed” while sleeping. He must consume it all—quickly, efficiently, relentlessly.

Ben lives like royalty—no responsibilities, no burdens. And let’s be fair, he’s a noble soul. He doesn’t mean to hurt anyone. He just dedicates his time, almost all of it—to his phone. What’s the harm in that, right?

So Ben scrolls on, day after day, his thumb working harder than the rest of his body combined. Some call it a waste of time; Ben calls it a lifestyle. And before you laugh at him, maybe check your own screen time—you might just find a little bit of Ben in you.